i have stories in the spring fourteen hills, mississippi review, and other voices

fourteen hills

mississippi review

other voices

these are stories from bed

i have a PDF of the fourteen hills story that i will email to anyone who wants to read it

i don't know anymore

what is the purpose of spending money on literary magazines?

i think literary magazines create community

you can create community without money

i think literary magazines also sometimes further place attention on abstractions rather than conscious, alive things

which i think for most people is contradictory to their philsophy in life; if you were to ask them what their philosophy in life is

this is true for almost all (or all, probably; if you believe in anything, with sincerity, then your actions are contradictory to your philosophy, which is why i think 'bad faith,' by sartre, is itself 'bad faith,' and does not go far enough; the writer i have read who i think has gone the furthest, in not having preconceptions, is fernando pessoa) people, i think

for example

if you smoke cigarettes and have ever complained unselfmockingly about assholes, george w. bush, republicans, inconsiderateness, or anything

then your actions do not convey your philosophy

these are just some observations that are being made

'i' am not making them

a computer program would make the same observations

therefore these are not 'opinions'

these observations are not 'self-righteous'

they are made by a computer program

i can make myself think as if a computer program

from now on these observations are going to made here

i know what most everyone is thinking

you are thinking, 'you are a retarded little boy with autism'

because i am possibly sabotaging my own 'literary career'

i understand that point of view

for most people it is impossible to comprehend a human life without applying the words 'advancement,' 'progress,' 'success,' and 'happiness' to it

what is a human life without 'advancement,' 'progress,' 'success,' and 'happiness?'

i'm not sure

a few people whose writings i can understand have said that art is nice because it can move a human mind to the state of what buddhists call, i think, 'oneness,' when the illusion of 'self,' or 'identity,' goes away

yes, i think that is true; it has happened to me before

schopenhauer said that and other people have as well

(that there are two worlds; the one of phenomena and the one of 'oneness,' or 'nothingness,' and that art can move consciousness (or whatever you want to call it) momentarily into the one of 'oneness')

i described it in my story, 'insomnia for a better tomorrow,' which was in opium magazine, whose editor is todd zuniga, who wanted to edit out that part

i know todd zuniga and i are different

i send him stories and he tells me, 'what is this story about?'

i say, 'it is about meaninglessness'

and he rejects the story

i realize i have said things that will alienate me from editors and publishers; some of them the ones publishing my work

why shouldn't i?

most people like art that does not compromise; has not been influenced by societal pressures, myths, laws, etc.

it seems all the same to me

life, art

i also want to say that anyone who uses without irony (or without knowing and including the information that they have made assumptions, in the universe) the words 'best,' 'good,' 'bad,' or 'important' can think longer and with less preconception about what they are talking about and then maybe some day stop using the words 'best,' 'good,' 'bad,' and 'important'

it's not always possible to think longer and with less preconception about a thing

when your thoughts become paradoxical after asking 'why' repeatedly then that is the end of thinking, i think; you cannot create a non-contradictory thought out of a contradictory thought without first allowing in some preconceptions

but for people who use those words

you can still think

and want to, i think

(most people have gone around complaining that other people don't think or are stupid)

i'm talking about maybe 98% of writers, especially the ones with educations

the less education a person has, i've observed, the more they are able to view things concretely