a gmail chat with noah cicero
me: ok
noah, lets have a gmail chat about publishing
i'll post it on my blog
starting now
say something
Noah: go ahead, you start
me: okay
noah
Noah: Tao
go
i'm ready
me: i'm thinking
publishing
dave egegers
safran foer
Noah: Dave Eggers is a rich kid who bought his way into the stores
me: benjamin kunkel
Noah: Foer is a rich kid who preys off the narcissism of white collar kid hispter idiots
me: yu read all the lit blogs, why haven't you heard of kunkel
Noah: i don't know who kunkel is
me: why don't you know k unkel
Noah: i've read the name a million times
why would i read kunkel
me: you know who he is
Noah: you said he sucks
yeah i know
i don't like his name
me: okay
Noah: there was kid in my school named kunkel and i didn't like him
so it has a bad connotation
me: the name sounds like his face looks like an ass
Noah: yeah, his face looks like an ass
unwiped
me: do we have anything else to talk about publishing
Noah: yes
john updike
me: selling ass
Noah: hates digital writing
me: you said you wwere going to sell ass, not books
Noah: no one wants to buy my ass
and no one wants to buy my books either
me: noah, you saw my ass
blurb my ass
so i can send it to asian ass parade
does your blurbs have clout in the ass world
Noah: no
my blurbs have no clout
me: that's a mixed blurb
give me a better one
Noah: i am a legless dying ant
a flea
I'm a mite on John Updike's asshole
I'm on one of his pubic hairs
on his asshole
me: i am a skinned ant with a face being dragged by a train
i'm retarded
have you read any john updike
Noah: yes, some short stories
me: i read a short story
Noah: they had no point whatsoever
me: if i write a book on terrorism, it's called TERRORISM IS GOOD
Noah: he helped invented pointless writing
me: he is not pointless
Noah: I don't care about terrorism
me: real pointless writing is good
i'm pointless
do you understand
Noah: I'm not talking about pointless writing like yours or Beckett's. I'm talking about when an author writes a clever story that the author thinks in their head is meaningful, but in reality, if aren't a pointless white collar hipster private school twat, it is meangingless
me: hispter private school twat
Noah: yes
me: noah, why does beckett's face look like a baseball glove that i shat on and left in the sun and then a sun shower
Noah: that is what it looks like when you have an existential crisis for forty years straight
your face is starting to look like that
your butt kind of looks like Beckett's face
me: noah, why didn't beckett kill himself
how does a fucked man live eighty years
other people killed themselves
Noah: I don't know
me: noah, i think camus is immature
he has a pose
he wants to appear as a 'badass' and also an intellectual
an intellectual punk ass serious man
do you get that feeling
Noah: The other day I heard Jimi Hendrix's version of Tobacco Road, it is insane, you could tell he was gonna die. he died the next day
Camus was a rebel and he sided with France in their war against the Algerians. he supported the ripping out of the Algerian's finger nails and the killing of a million Algerians
Nobody remembers this
it is bullshit
Camus was pro-violence
me: noah, at the end of 'the stranger'
people get that feeling all the time
it is not special
Noah: he was pro the murder of a million Algerians, because he didn't want to make his mom mad
me: it just means you feel sentimental
Noah: no
nothing matters
me: it is not special
Noah: Camus sucks
me: yes
he won the nobel prize
Noah: I like the Kakfa story about when the guy can't get into the law
me: who else can we shit talk, pick someone
Noah: you like that
me: yes, i like kafka
everyone in kafka is fucked
Noah: i like the deformed girl in the trial
me: i like the
i can't think of anything
Noah: Is Lorrie Moore rich
she has books in Youngstown stores
me: yes
i dont know
Noah: tell her to buy me a car
with a spoiler
me: alright, i'll email her
Noah: tell she is hot
me: ok
Noah: we should tag team her
me: i'll send her my ass
a blurb for my ass
'incendiary, but ultimately life affirming'
Noah: A citidal of light
Tao Lin's ass is a citidal of light
poingant
i spelled that wrong
me: poignant
Noah: because that is not a real word
me: you didn't finish college
Noah: no
that's why i spell words wrong
me: i finished college
Noah: i would have graduated from a state univeristy anyway, so it doesn't matter in the literary
world
you graduated from a state university
me: noah
Noah: Tao
me: alright, we have nothing else to say
Noah: no,
i'm very serious
me: i'll go back tro bed
Noah: we need to talk for four more minutes
me: ok
Noah: then i have to mow the grass
me: pick a name
Noah: PLATH
me: ok
Noah: THOMAS HARDY
me: new people
Noah: FRANK PORTMAN
me: who's that
Noah: KING DORK
WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS
me: he was in the MR t experience
Noah: JOHN UPDIKE
raped my mother
me: is it four minutes yet
Noah: yes, i have to mow the gras
me: my neck feels like an ass
that needs to shit
Noah: how did it turn out
me: we didn't say much
Noah: is it postable
me: i'm posting it
there's nothign else to do
say something in conclusion
something about philip roth's ass
Noah: Phillip Roth is my hero
ROTHIRIFFIC
noah, lets have a gmail chat about publishing
i'll post it on my blog
starting now
say something
Noah: go ahead, you start
me: okay
noah
Noah: Tao
go
i'm ready
me: i'm thinking
publishing
dave egegers
safran foer
Noah: Dave Eggers is a rich kid who bought his way into the stores
me: benjamin kunkel
Noah: Foer is a rich kid who preys off the narcissism of white collar kid hispter idiots
me: yu read all the lit blogs, why haven't you heard of kunkel
Noah: i don't know who kunkel is
me: why don't you know k unkel
Noah: i've read the name a million times
why would i read kunkel
me: you know who he is
Noah: you said he sucks
yeah i know
i don't like his name
me: okay
Noah: there was kid in my school named kunkel and i didn't like him
so it has a bad connotation
me: the name sounds like his face looks like an ass
Noah: yeah, his face looks like an ass
unwiped
me: do we have anything else to talk about publishing
Noah: yes
john updike
me: selling ass
Noah: hates digital writing
me: you said you wwere going to sell ass, not books
Noah: no one wants to buy my ass
and no one wants to buy my books either
me: noah, you saw my ass
blurb my ass
so i can send it to asian ass parade
does your blurbs have clout in the ass world
Noah: no
my blurbs have no clout
me: that's a mixed blurb
give me a better one
Noah: i am a legless dying ant
a flea
I'm a mite on John Updike's asshole
I'm on one of his pubic hairs
on his asshole
me: i am a skinned ant with a face being dragged by a train
i'm retarded
have you read any john updike
Noah: yes, some short stories
me: i read a short story
Noah: they had no point whatsoever
me: if i write a book on terrorism, it's called TERRORISM IS GOOD
Noah: he helped invented pointless writing
me: he is not pointless
Noah: I don't care about terrorism
me: real pointless writing is good
i'm pointless
do you understand
Noah: I'm not talking about pointless writing like yours or Beckett's. I'm talking about when an author writes a clever story that the author thinks in their head is meaningful, but in reality, if aren't a pointless white collar hipster private school twat, it is meangingless
me: hispter private school twat
Noah: yes
me: noah, why does beckett's face look like a baseball glove that i shat on and left in the sun and then a sun shower
Noah: that is what it looks like when you have an existential crisis for forty years straight
your face is starting to look like that
your butt kind of looks like Beckett's face
me: noah, why didn't beckett kill himself
how does a fucked man live eighty years
other people killed themselves
Noah: I don't know
me: noah, i think camus is immature
he has a pose
he wants to appear as a 'badass' and also an intellectual
an intellectual punk ass serious man
do you get that feeling
Noah: The other day I heard Jimi Hendrix's version of Tobacco Road, it is insane, you could tell he was gonna die. he died the next day
Camus was a rebel and he sided with France in their war against the Algerians. he supported the ripping out of the Algerian's finger nails and the killing of a million Algerians
Nobody remembers this
it is bullshit
Camus was pro-violence
me: noah, at the end of 'the stranger'
people get that feeling all the time
it is not special
Noah: he was pro the murder of a million Algerians, because he didn't want to make his mom mad
me: it just means you feel sentimental
Noah: no
nothing matters
me: it is not special
Noah: Camus sucks
me: yes
he won the nobel prize
Noah: I like the Kakfa story about when the guy can't get into the law
me: who else can we shit talk, pick someone
Noah: you like that
me: yes, i like kafka
everyone in kafka is fucked
Noah: i like the deformed girl in the trial
me: i like the
i can't think of anything
Noah: Is Lorrie Moore rich
she has books in Youngstown stores
me: yes
i dont know
Noah: tell her to buy me a car
with a spoiler
me: alright, i'll email her
Noah: tell she is hot
me: ok
Noah: we should tag team her
me: i'll send her my ass
a blurb for my ass
'incendiary, but ultimately life affirming'
Noah: A citidal of light
Tao Lin's ass is a citidal of light
poingant
i spelled that wrong
me: poignant
Noah: because that is not a real word
me: you didn't finish college
Noah: no
that's why i spell words wrong
me: i finished college
Noah: i would have graduated from a state univeristy anyway, so it doesn't matter in the literary
world
you graduated from a state university
me: noah
Noah: Tao
me: alright, we have nothing else to say
Noah: no,
i'm very serious
me: i'll go back tro bed
Noah: we need to talk for four more minutes
me: ok
Noah: then i have to mow the grass
me: pick a name
Noah: PLATH
me: ok
Noah: THOMAS HARDY
me: new people
Noah: FRANK PORTMAN
me: who's that
Noah: KING DORK
WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS
me: he was in the MR t experience
Noah: JOHN UPDIKE
raped my mother
me: is it four minutes yet
Noah: yes, i have to mow the gras
me: my neck feels like an ass
that needs to shit
Noah: how did it turn out
me: we didn't say much
Noah: is it postable
me: i'm posting it
there's nothign else to do
say something in conclusion
something about philip roth's ass
Noah: Phillip Roth is my hero
ROTHIRIFFIC
5:39 PM
3 Comments:
noah and tao give me a literary hardon. i want to fornicate them like they're my older cousins. i am waiting for books by both of them to arrive in the mail. then i will be like the skinny hairy guy in the corner of their 30-second mpg clip, my left hand gyrating furiously, without rhythm.
i'm sorry. perhaps that seemed crude. really i am filled with love. i want to be overfilled with their love. deeply. filled. lovingly.
i like the hunger artist.
nic, your moth book is made
it's in my room
it says 'fuck you' on one page for the illustration
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