10/5/10

*contest* discern what drug i'm 'on' *contest*

*update* an account of this is here *update*

*update* the answer is mushrooms, a person covered this here, htmlgiant covered this here *update*

first 5 correct answers receive richard yates free, type your answer in the comments section (1 answer per person) including 5 to 1000 words explanation, i will reveal the drug thursday 6pm pacific time

107 comments:

jordan said...

You are on mushrooms. I guess this due to a tweet you made some time (I think yesterday) asking if anyone in SF enjoyed mushrooms.

Poncho said...

Mushrooms.

Poncho said...

Forgot my explanation- you tweeted that you were looking for mushrooms the night of this event. Same as Jordan said. Said tweet is now gone.

Forest Moon said...

I think you're on mushrooms.

Oscar said...

mushrooms, I remember the tweet. Although it could be some anti-depressant?

Mikey said...

mushrooms? (via bandwagon)

Forest Moon said...

My explanation is that I saw a tweet of yours that mentioned mushrooms. Like Poncho said, I believe the tweet is now gone. Thanks.

Mikey said...

oops. my explanation: I discerned this from the other contest entries (again, via bandwagon)

c said...

I suspect you're on your second mug of Postum because I read that you're Mormon.

shannon said...

you are on acid thinks i, waiting for the vid 2 load while i guess this. i believe this bc... while i am not sure when this clip took place yet i think you did not have mushrooms anymore. acid, thinks i...

Melissa said...

Mushrooms is the easy guess, but I'm going to say you are on LSD because when I do mushrooms I am facedown on the couch/bed for a few hours discovering a subconcious that refuses to like itself. I'm probably not like most people however. I'd still like a free book but it probably is mushrooms.

shannon said...

fuck... acid...

vladmir said...

definitely on shrooms. because you tried to look bored you weren't. it was probably boring but your mind was on shrooms. so you weren't bored. or at least you looked like you were half-trying to look bored or keep your cool. i dunno. shrooms.

B. W. B. said...

PROZAC. I believe so because you 'seem like' someone who would need it.

Niagara Fallingstar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

mushrooms or acid because the way that you are smiling hahaha

i love you tao

Niagara Fallingstar said...

In order for you to comply with your special diet the drug would have had to have been raw, making a dehydrated mushroom my answer.

ecg said...

Haley Joel Osment said: "So, what drugs do you think Tao Lin took before doing this reading?"
"I'd guess mushrooms" said Dakota Fanning, "I did mushrooms once, and I think that's what I sounded like - almost mumbling; clear enough, but kinda like my tongue was a bit swelled".
"Cool", said Haley Joel Osment.

Anonymous said...

I love you

Jordan Castro said...

lol

MarcoPolo said...

Oxycodone because 1) everyone else is picking shrooms, and if I'm going to win I might as well ride on a dark horse and 2) you seem slower than usual.

Oscar said...

valium?

Kelsey said...

Mushrooms because I am a conformist sheep.

David said...

xanax

indolent mendicant said...

as I said once before
leave when leaving suits
can you discern when I am serious
often you try to leave
however I find it does not suit me
on most days
leave please and take your suit with you

Sheh Sheh said...

xanax

yes said...

Love is the drug friend. Or valarian root, you sleepy mother fucker.

Mark said...

Xanax, you're barred out brother. It's obvious. Your pupils were dilated. Your voice was slowed, but you were slurring a little bit. Also, you were giving no bullshit and taking no bullshit and had a "I don't give a fuck attitude" which I can admire.

And I would say mushrooms but I think more than 5 people already said it.

ELIN said...

Tylenol

shannon said...

watching your vid. it is cool. i would play the sound but my parents are watching iron man 2. i dont think you are on acid anymore... not sure. i do not retract my answer. good job with the mic.

haha... maybe... shifty eyes

processing things...

Anonymous said...

mushrooms because of what you did at 21:15. oh man

Oscar Arias said...

Oxygen, because he seems to be breathing. Heard it was poisonous in large quantities

Lucky Pierre said...

Xanax, because it is the only way you can summon the will to temporarily face the cruel and unforgiving outside world. Probably.

Dan said...

Wellbutrin, as it is frequently prescribed.

chaitd said...

the facial expressions you made during the reading were hilarious. some seemed really sexual. i think you were on acid because mushrooms seems too obvious, seems like you tweeted 'got mushies' (according to first comment) and someone was like 'nah but i have some acid'. also you seem 'tripped out' re the nature of your facial expressions.

. said...

You're on some xanax. It just seems like a good idea before a reading to me, so I'll say xanax.

Anonymous said...

dank dank dank dank dank

brittany wallace said...

i'm gonna throw a curveball here and say...

2c-i

alex said...

hesnot on 2ci
if he was
he would not be able to like
even 'understand' questions

jrp said...

adderall

bruno said...

you're fucked up on life, bro

mad said...

jesus. how could you pay attention to that long question at 16:30 when you're on shrooms

alpocity said...

purple drank.

you seem like the type. thug lyfe.

jrp said...

To explain my earlier comment: because you are 'addicted'

Anonymous said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adderall

Andy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andy said...

It could be that you've taken some illicit drug, Tao-- quaalude, dope, alcohol, I don't know. However, what I can tell you that is that it's clear what your true vice is here: lack of self-respect. The writers who wrote books that got put on the Canon had qualities that not everyone gets to enjoy. These include: they can see, hear, but most importantly observe, all the things about life that most people don't see. For example, Charles Bock wrote in his review of "Richard Yates":

"Part of the problem is the lack of counterbalance. No friends warn the young writer he might be further harming a disturbed teenager. The girl gets nabbed for shoplifting, but a clerk takes her picture and lets her go. Pregnancy? False alarm. When Dakota’s overmatched mother confronts Haley Joel, of course she gives in, even letting him sleep over and use her car. Having Haley Joel contemplate the ages for statutory rape charges carries none of the dramatic power we might have seen had the girl’s older brother (or father) appeared at his door with a baseball bat. And when Dakota, in full spiral mode, follows her boyfriend’s throwaway suggestion, heading off to place her neck on the train tracks, the author could at least make it interesting and have the 9:15 show up. (Sorry, Tolstoy!)"

The connections to other works that are interesting, like Tolstoy, is what the counterbalance is that you need to see in your books. In your writing, it's like nothing serious happens that you write about. How can you expect people then to feel serious about your book?

Also, you can bet that these writers did NOT show themselves in public like this, stoned on pills and making jokes out of their audience's questions and lives. In addition, you clearly demonstrate no passion for expression to people that don't share in your goof-off lifestyle that you, and others, proceed to have. If you could clean yourself up and take your work a little less lightly, you could one day accomplish a book on the level of, say, Tolstoy.

In conclusion, conduct yourself in the manner of an author with intellect, and maybe you'll get somewhere in writing.

Signed,
Andy

brittany wallace said...

alex,

i beg to differ

Anonymous said...

e-mail me at gnsschwarz@gmail with a mialing address and i will send you whichever drug you would like

bmirov said...

I think you are o n methadone, because that is the on ly drug I've seen you on and you seem to be actin gthe same

Will Henriksen said...

Like many people before me, I'm guessing mushrooms.

Adam said...

Tea & lithium.

henry miller said...

why isn't anybody talking about me

Anonymous said...

lol'd at the party girl at end of q&a asking about internet abbreviations

andrewpjackson said...

Diazepam, because of how long it took you to take the mic off the stand, or something.

Anonymous said...

andy, lol

Tao Lin said...

@henry someone transcribed us

Tao Lin said...

@andy re 'In your writing, it's like nothing serious happens that you write about' what book are you referring to

Zachary said...

mescaline (as in peyote or san pedro) cause its like mushrooms but no one guessed it

gustavo.rivera said...

tao wants to do heroin.

gustavo.rivera said...

you ate two halves of a blue, dog.

the one i got made me feel really good that night, but i didn't fall asleep either, and kind of was worn out the following morning.

gustavo.rivera said...

mfas suck for the reasons that Andy says tao isn't important.

Jonathan said...

mescaline for the good idea that zachary had.

Tao Lin said...

disregard this competition: i suck cocks

ANDRES LARA said...

ADDERALL/RITALIN

adam said...

caffeine: depends on your definition of 'on' but i bet there's some in your body-system

ab said...

i'm gonna say a little bit of DMT. not enough to trip but enough to feel glowy and safe

matt said...

kind of want to say xanax because you seem to be on some kind of lite/low dose downer due to a slight extra slowness in your reactions without any signs of beginning to nod off, but gonna go with methadone because its only been said once and xanax has been said 7 times already. also seems like it might be a weak dose of e/mdma due to the strange occurrences of giddiness that manage to break out of your ultra-flat general presence from time to time, so that is my second, unofficial guess.

hollytime said...

you said "Ellinois"

Zachary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zachary said...

you are on acid.
you just have this lucid expression on your face through the entirety of the interview portion.
acid.

cody said...

lovechild.

jane said...

nothing.life.sleep deprivation

Tao Lin said...

bros...

Anonymous said...

i think you are on 'ludes because you reminded me of when i went to see The Concretes live and the lead singer acted just like you and she was defnitely on 'ludes.

i really like your whale poem; please keep writing.

alex said...

dear brittany wallace

don't speak such foolish things. believe me, if you are up for an experience you take two and get a bunch of that katfood over there. yes mam, that will tell you what i've wanted to tell you all along.

Anonymous said...

you were on ecstasy because all the queers love it

Anonymous said...

I think that you are on a lot of Klonopin.

Anonymous said...

there seem to be so many diffefernt kdrugs

dottie kee bones said...

adderall. you seem focused to me.

Chenzi said...

coffee, a little white pill, and hangover (the first and last cancel each other out, sort of)

snailshellbackpack said...

possibly you are high on 'having given up'

yes said...

#newtwitter?

steve roggenbuck said...

you looked really serious after you said 'no one is more famous than him' (referring to franzen)
that was funny

Andy said...

@tao Richard Yates, Shopping at American Apparel

Jeff Hooks said...

I think of novels themselves as drugs, especially good narratives. The effect is an altered view of the world that begins while reading, and depending on the resonance of the text, lingering for some time afterwords. Lately my world has become populated with party girls and cheese beasts along with a general nervous self-consciousness. So I think you are high on your own creation as are many of us. Thanks for the buzz.

McGruff said...

You are on stage.

Tao Lin said...

jordan, poncho, forest moon, mikey, oscar, email binky.tabby [at] gmail.com where to mail 'ry'

good job

Anonymous said...

hahaha how much did you take?

Tao Lin said...

re this:

'Lin read for only 6 minutes, and his Q&A, while more informative than his reading, was overly affected and not very sincere.'

i honestly feel that i was 'struggling' to discern reality for most of the reading and q&a

before i stopped reading i felt like my heart was beating very fast, that i might be sweating and that there seemed to be tribal tattoo patterns and strange emanations on the pages of 'ry' and that i was hearing science-fiction noises and about to 'lose control' of my voice and posture

i was 'practicing' in my head something like 'i feel really sick and am going to go now' or 'i am having a bad drug experience right now' and leaving to the back room or leaving the store

in terms of sincerity i feel that i was not being sarcastic, 'ironic' (i used words with intention to convey the literal sense of the words, i feel), facetious, 'joke-y,' and so was being 'sincere,' or 'direct,' i think

'I don’t think that he’s really trying to say anything.'

i think i was trying to answer questions as honestly and accurately as possible without pausing for an extremely long time or being condescending or 'mean' to the person asking the question

[continued in next comment]

Tao Lin said...

'I see this event as something of a performance piece, a marketing tool, something to help sell the book.'

in my view, most of the time, ideally, i would like to conduct everything as 'performance,' in the same sense that a poem or novel or painting or song is a 'performance'

i view 'marketing tools' as something different, as something whose only function is to sell something

ideally i would like my only 'marketing tools' to be 'the work itself,' or 'the performance itself'

'What I value is honesty and hard work. I don’t want you to sell me something.'

i honestly felt i was trying to be as honest and accurate as possible in my answers, and also that my brain was working 'very hard' during and after each question to form honest, accurate answers

in terms of my books 'richard yates' was written in ~2500 hours over 4 years, i worked 6-12 hours a day on it perhaps ~250 days

'What I see here is an interesting equilibrium trying to form between being popular/understanding how to communicate, and actually having something to say.'

i feel that i said exactly what i had to say given the amount of time i allowed myself to formulate information, in response to other information

Tao Lin said...

maybe 1/3 of 'an eighth'

Mikey said...

woah did I win one?

Anonymous said...

damn bro...

kl said...

If you like to conduct everything as performance, and view 1/2 of your marketing tools to be the performance itself, do you consider all/most of your interactions with people/fans to be performance/a marketing tool?

...I feel like I already know the answer. And it seems bleak.

Andy said...

"Some good points are raised, particularly the one in which @Andy has recommended Lin present himself with a modicum of self-respect."

i'd just like to clarify that my contest entry was satirical, in case that wasn't obvious to some. also, thank you!

Anonymous said...

@ki I think you're referring to something that is 'a matter of semantics'

I want 'intimate connections' with 'other humans' more than things that marketing can get me

Marketing can get me more opportunities at the aforementioned

But if I feel I'm interacting with someone only for marketing reasons, for longer than like a minute or an email, I will stop interacting with them unless the feeling seems mutual

I feel that I'm much below average in my ability, desire, and willingness to fake interest

If my interacting were marketing based I would be rich or more rich right now, for example I would have be doing the most common marketing based thing there is maybe which is having a 'real job,' I think, to some degree

via iPhone

kl said...

@anonymous not sure if you're tao lin.

strange reply. suddenly feel severely depressed.

Charles said...

I was not present at the reading, but I saw Mr. Lin the following night at another reading. I haven't encountered him before these readings and reading this blog. I'm "impressed". There is something "original" here. I don't know what it is yet. I did have the sense that Mr. Lin was not communicating a story so much as a kind of consciousness that was very childlike. It all has something to do with the difficulty of "communicating". This is clear when we listen to young children who struggle with desperate sincerity to tell a story. It seems to me that Mr. Lin is communicating a similar desperate sincerity but as an adult. He wants to start with language in a fresh way, like modernist painters who tried to capture the compositional instincts of a child. "Oh," said Sponge Bob.

I'm not mocking. I'm trying to "understand".

I don't like that you disrespected your audience by showing up stoned & not acknowledging that people had made a personal investment to be here. Niceness counts.

But I'll sure as fuck stat reading your books.

Jake Fournier said...

@ Charles: that's so ridiculous. you made an investment to see a performance and you got one. if I went to a concert and the lead singer wasn't on mushrooms I would feel let down, and those cost $$!

Anonymous said...

HAVING A REAL JOB IS FUCKING BLEAK.

Anonymous said...

watching this made me feel ~ 75% highly amused and ~ 25% vicariously uncomfortable. well done tao.

Mikey said...

who won

Rashni said...

You don't have to be on drugs to involuntarily laugh at someone who stutters while asking you a question. But I'm sure it's better if you are (slash know it's better if you are).

chinesetomcruise said...

i liked it when you were trying to get the mic out of the stand and everyone was just applauding you

david jones said...

audience member's laugh from 19:03-19:12 seems like the most 'horrific' thing i've ever heard

Anonymous said...

no drug. i love trick questions.